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SECRET CALL FROM THE PREMIER

After publishing the explosive interview with Daniel Andrews last Monday, Public Relations people have requested a phone call to, as they put it, 'set the record straight'.


HV: Hello?


DD. Err, Ahh, Yes, Hello.


HV: Who's this?


DD: It's me, Daniel Andrews.


HV: Mr Premier?


DD: I want to set the record straight. I feel like the last time we spoke, you twisted what I said, took it out of context and made me sound silly. Let me be clear, I am not silly. I am doing the best job possible for the people of Victoria and the Unions that they belong to.


HV: You do know that not everyone belongs to a Union?


DD: No, I do not know that. I have it on advice, that the people that you refer to are either signed up or are going to sign up.


HV: How can you be so sure?


DD: As I clearly stated, I have it on good advice.


HV: Advice from who?


DD: From the Unions themselves of course. They have assured me that if I keep feeding them money, they will keep signing people up. Otherwise the people to who you refer, will be out of work.


HV: That doesn't sound fair or legal.


DD. Let me be clear, legal or fair are not my priority.


HV: What is your priority?


DD: Jobs.


HV: What about the pandemic?


DD: Yes. And to beat the pandemic we need to employ people to fight it. Good people. Strong people. Qualified people. We are at war.


HV: You mean the Australian Defence Force?


DD: No. I mean Union members.


HV: Ah. What about this latest decision to enforce masking?


DD: Jennifer Coate is conducting a judicial inquiry, it's not my position to run that inquiry for her. As far as I am concerned I, nor any of my people have been involved in masking.


HV: No, I was referring to the State Government directive that, as of midnight Wednesday, we all have to cover up.


DD: Let me be clear, there is no 'cover up'.


HV: Thanks for setting the record straight.


DD: Are we now clear?


HV. Clear as I was before the call.


DD: I have to go, John Setka is on the other line.




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